How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

Ok, I know I promised a long post about evolution, but I just haven't had time, but it's coming.  Much like evolution, these things take time.

In the mean time, I've been thinking my blog has gotten a little heavy of late.  Religion and revelation and science and love and heartbreak.  Where has the light-hearted, hammock-loving Ammon of days of old gone to?  Well, life is as whimsical and exciting as ever, and to prove it, here's a fun list:

Ammon's 10 easy steps for being more attractive (especially for girls)

I recently realized there are a few things any girl can do to instantly become more attractive (to me, in particular), and I thought I'd share this with my female compatriots. I suppose a lot of these apply to men too.  So if you're wondering how to instantly be more attractive, put down the extra makeup and just do the following:

1.  Ride a bike
Bikes are extremely flattering.  Aside from the fact that they identify you as cool, bikes give you good posture, provide dramatic wind in which your hair can flutter, and there's something about effortlessly gliding through space that is beautiful.

2. Cook
Sorry feminists*, cooking is still very attractive. Aprons are too.  And it's not merely some antiquated notion of domesticity (I don't have any particular fetish for sewing); it's just that food is so sensual and wonderful to begin with, the ability to make it is similarly sensual and wonderful.  The good news is that I think that a love and ability for cooking is one of the highest forms of masculinity.  So you won't be alone.

3. Rock Climb
Now you might just think that I'm just naming my hobbies, but rock climbing is very flattering (especially if you're good at it). It's like dancing up a wall, with stretchy pants.

4. Smile
Everyone is beautiful when they smile, laughing counts double.

5. Really care about people
It's the new hotness.  (Bonus points for caring about me.  That's super attractive.)

6. Sing
Singing beautifully has always been irresistible. Just ask Odysseus

7. Dance
This is an interesting one, because it's not really something I enjoy personally, but it definitely makes everyone more attractive (depending on the style. Sorry, Miley)

8. Be Spontaneous
You're saying you want to go cliff jumping at midnight?  Marry me.

9. Be outside at night.
Speaking of midnight, everyone looks more beautiful in the moonlight.  This is even more true when it's snowing. In fact, I think everything is more true when it's snowing.

10. Express well-formed, critical arguments that go beyond cultural norms and hackneyed statements.
Turns out the opposite is boring, and there's nothing attractive about being boring.

So there you have it, just apply these ten easy steps, and you too will be instantly more attractive to everyone around you-- especially everyone around you who happens to be me.


Next time: Why every Mormon (and everyone else) should believe in Evolution


*I don't actually see any feminists that are opposed to cooking.  For thoughts on feminism, see #10.